10 Things My Father Didn’t Teach Me About Being a Man
My father wasn’t around for most of my life.
I never saw him again after my 6th birthday.
And that’s OK.
Did I complain that life wasn’t fair?
Did I rebel by getting into unnecessary trouble and cause my mom stress?
What I did do was teach myself how to be a man all on my own.
And while my mom did an amazing job at being a single mother, there were things she simply couldn’t teach me.
As an example, most fathers teach their kids how to fight so they can defend themselves.
One day I lost a fight in after school care.
I had a little girlfriend named Amanda.
She was sitting with her friends crying because some kid said something mean to her.
So I approached him to fight and defend, my love. (Ha-ha)
He knew who I was and why I came up to him.
We immediately got into it.
You can tell that his dad taught him to fight because he dodged every swing I took at him.
He also caught me with just about every punch he threw.
The fight probably lasted less than 20 seconds before the counselors stopped it.
However, a lot happened in that short amount of time.
Not only did I lose, but I knew I needed to prevent this from ever happening again.
While I was proud to stand up for my girlfriend, I was obviously disappointed with the results.
So I took that feeling of disappointment, shame, and pain and channeled it into learning how to fight.
At just 7 years old, I begged my mom to put me in karate.
And just how I learned to fight anyone whose goal is to hit me in the face; I learned to fight any problem I encountered in life.
Here are the 10 things my father didn’t teach me about being a man that every guy should know.
1) Keep your word
A real man doesn’t break his word for anything or anyone.
The ability to keep your word is what separates the men from the boys.
People might not like you, but they’ll always respect you.
And when it comes to being a real man, respect is all that should matter.
The desire to be liked is for little boys.
Men don’t care who does or doesn’t like them.
They only worry about earning respect and getting ahead in life.
No matter what it may cost, always keep your word.
Like Tony Montana says in Scarface:
“All I have in this world is my word and my balls and I don’t break them for no one.”
2) Do things right
If you’re going to commit to doing something, do it right.
If not, don’t do it.
Doing something half-ass or not completing pending projects becomes a horrible habit.
It goes on to negatively affect your entire life.
Before beginning anything, promise yourself you’re going to finish and do it right.
It’s OK to make mistakes.
It’s only a problem when you don’t fix them.
See the difference?
3) Be smart with women
Women can either add or take away from your success.
There are 2 types of women:
1) Those who support and help you achieve goals
2) Those who push you so far away from your goals that they’ll become impossible to achieve
Depending what you like, certain women will always grab your attention.
In my case, a woman with a nice ass automatically stops me in my tracks.
I’m 29 years old, and no matter how many women I’ve seen, a nice ass gets me 100% of the time.
It’s what I like.
It has absolutely no influence in the type of women I get involved with.
Because I know there’s countless women with a nice ass who will add to my success in life.
So instead of “getting serious” just because of her ass, I choose wisely.
If you’re not careful, allowing a woman into your life just because of a physical trait can cause you many stressful moments and problems.
As soon as I get the vibe that she isn’t going to do me any good in the long run – I’m gone!
If you’re considering getting serious with a woman, take your time and really get to know her.
Slowly but surely, her true colors will show.
People can initially fake who they are.
But inevitably, you’ll see what they’re all about.
Don’t fall into the scarcity mindset most men do.
There are MANY women out there.
While it may take some time to find a great one, it’s well worth the wait.
You’ll know you found her when being together just feels right.
When she contributes a lot more than what she ask for.
4) Keep your cool
There will come moments in life where you get tired, stressed, and angry.
Learn to keep your cool in all situations.
These emotions are part of being a man and there’s nothing wrong with them.
Your only job is to address them properly.
If you’re tired, simply get some rest.
If you’re stressed, do some cardio.
And if you’re angry, go hit a punching bag or do 100 push-ups.
A real man never gets dramatic.
He doesn’t start complaining in exchange for attention and comfort from others.
Instead, he keeps to himself and deals with his own problems.
It’s OK to talk to someone about something you’re going through.
But don’t get overly dramatic in order to make yourself feel better.
Explain how you’re handling the situation and change the subject.
5) Work harder than everyone else
Boys do just enough to get by.
Men give 100% every time.
They put their heart and soul into anything they do.
Whether they work in an office, on the street, or online like me; a real man works double the time everyone else does.
If you haven’t achieved your goals and are wasting time on Facebook, you’re not behaving as a man should.
Once you’ve accomplished your goals, you earn the right to relax a little.
…But you should soon be back to working and creating more success for yourself.
A real man is never complacent.
He achieves, celebrates, and then does it all over again.
Working hard, believe it or not, becomes fun after a while.
After you taste a little success, you realize you don’t have time to be on Facebook or “Catching up on Netflix” like an asshole.
Unless you’re on your earned vacation, you should be working on your goals.
6) Fight to the death
If you don’t have what you want, you fight.
You do whatever necessary to get it.
You sacrifice anything and everything.
I once heard the quote:
“You can have anything you want in life if you’re willing to give up everything else for it.”
Right there and then, it was evident why some people go on to achieve MASSIVE success while others are doing the same thing today they were 5 years ago.
Fighting to the death means sacrificing and delaying gratification until you get what you want.
If it doesn’t kill you, you do it.
Real men never settle for less than what they deserve.
Like Earl Nightingale says in The Strangest Secret:
“The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice… it is conformity.”
7) Constant improvement
A man should always be actively improving different areas of his life.
He should improve physically, mentally, and financially.
This doesn’t mean:
- You bench-press 2 plates (225 lbs.) today and 4 plates next month.
- You read 1 book this week and 5 next week.
- You earn $100 per day online today and $500 tomorrow.
It means you make slow but steady progress.
The whole key is to always be making some kind of improvement/progress.
But you have to do things consistently.
Laying just one brick per day will eventually build a house.
“Thinking” about a brick will get you nothing regardless how long you think about it.
You follow me?
8) Live alone
Every man should experience living alone.
If you go from living with your parents, to living with a roommate, to living with your girlfriend; you’re doing it wrong.
A man needs to learn to survive on his own.
Ever seen how rich kids grow up spoiled, get into all sorts of trouble, and don’t develop self-control?
How can this be?
Their parents are rich and nothing like them.
Well, even though they did a great job at succeeding in life, they failed miserably at raising their children.
Children need to be taught to work hard and succeed on their own.
In the show, Billions, there’s a scene in episode 7 of Season 1 where two brothers complain about the food prepared by their chef at home.
The mom immediately teaches them a lesson about survival and takes the two boys clamming at the beach.
While there, she tells the boys how at their age, she’d have to collect 50 clams with her grandma or there would be no dinner.
She explains how it taught her something about work and earning her own living.
“How many do you want us to catch?” asked one of the boys.
‘”Well, you eat what you catch so you get as many as you can before the tide goes out.”
“In about 4 hours from now.” replied the mom.
It’s an impeccable scene.
Even though they’re billionaires, the mom ensured she taught her boys about surviving on their own.
Living alone helps develop a strength and character that money can’t buy.
It lights a fire inside you that forces you to continue striving for success.
When I first moved out alone, I was scared shitless!
I moved into a studio and had one huge bill to worry about.
I either paid on time or was out on the street.
Interestingly enough, the moment I moved into that studio was when I started making the most progress in my business life.
There’s something about living alone that automatically explodes your self-belief.
You realize you can survive all on your own.
If you can provide for yourself, you can do anything.
From there on out, you take the world in your hands and go after whatever you want.
Live alone even if it’s just 6 months.
9) Learn to provide for myself
I don’t ask anyone for anything.
I was once at a point where I’d rather eat a can of tuna with a banana for dinner than ask family for money.
Might sound a little extreme, but it’s who I am.
A man’s job isn’t to ask.
…It’s to get resources and provide for himself.
To fully make the transition from boy to man, you need to provide for yourself.
It’s only excusable if you’re working on becoming 100% independent.
But if you’re just living off others without attempting to improve your situation, it’s inexcusable.
I knew a girl whose ex-boyfriend was going into his 40s and still lived with mommy and daddy.
…Get the hell out of here! (Pun intended)
10) Do things I fear
Having fear doesn’t make you less of a man.
What makes you less of a man is NOT facing that fear and letting it control your life.
Fear can hold you back in more ways than you’d ever imagined.
Allowing it to control you becomes an ugly habit.
You learn to walk away from your problems.
And that’s something a real man would never do.
A man fixes problems the moment they appear.
If you’re scared of heights, get on a roller-coaster.
If you’re scared of talking to women, go to the mall and say “Hi” to 10 of them.
If you’re scared of fighting, join a boxing gym and spar with other people.
No, you’re not going to die.
No, nothing bad is going to happen.
Fear is nothing more than a self-imposed limitation.
It’s an idea you developed through personal experiences.
If everyone is born with the same brain, does it make sense that some people fear things that others don’t?
Of course not.
Find your fears and get rid of them!
These were the 10 things my father didn’t teach me about being a man and the reasons why you should follow them.
Remember, there’s nothing that makes you less of a man than not working to improve your situation.
Get things done!