You got friend zoned!
It’s such a popular phrase today.
You hear about guys all the time who are victims.
Or maybe the victim is YOU.
The friend zone is a dark place that feels hopeless.
And hopeless it is.
Once you’ve landed inside, you’re like a fish thrown in a deep bucket.
You can hop around and try to escape all you want, but you won’t.
The moment a woman has decided to friend zone you, it’s nearly impossible to change her mind.
Let me explain.
At that moment, she’s made a decision about you.
She has a certain impression of who you are as a man.
There’s no turning back.
And whose fault is it?
Yours, my friend.
But don’t worry, it won’t happen again.
You follow what I’m about to share.
The reality is that staying out of the friend zone really isn’t that difficult.
You don’t have to be asshole and treat women poorly like others might lead you believe.
Although that kind of personality does work on some women.
Usually on those who won’t bring anything good into your life.
Just stress and problems.
And unless that’s what you seek, you’ll be fine by being a gentlemen.
With that said, there are two things you MUST have to stay out of the friend zone.
Personality and balls.
That’s right, balls!
However you say it isn’t important.
What matters is that you have them.
A man with personality and balls won’t get friend zoned.
He’ll either get the girl or never talk to her again.
And unless you want to go shoe shopping with her and hear about her new boyfriend, you’ll want one of the two options above to occur 100% of time.
Let’s discuss in detail what having personality and balls means exactly.
How to prevent getting friend zoned
What’s the fastest way to ensure you don’t get friend zoned?
Make a move.
This doesn’t mean you try to kiss her the moment you see each other.
It means you go for the kiss somewhere in the middle of the date.
I’ve never waited until the end of the date to make a move.
Are you kidding me?
Not only is it predictable which ruins everything, but it’s awkward.
You’re nervous about doing it and the girl is nervous that it’s coming.
It’s much better to break the ice and make a smooth move before the end of the date.
But Alex, isn’t the middle of the date too soon to go in for a kiss?
Yeah, if your goal is to get friend zoned.
Any woman who goes on a date with you is willing to kiss you.
Whoever doesn’t agree has no idea what they’re talking about.
Unless she’s there for just a free meal, she’ll be open to a kiss.
This is why I ALWAYS recommend drinks or coffee for the first date.
It allows you to get a feel of who she is as a person and where you stand with her.
A woman who isn’t into you won’t get ready and leave her house for just drinks or coffee.
For a free dinner?
But not for a couple of drinks with a guy she has ZERO interest in.
A guy she plans to or has already friend zoned.
You follow me?
If you go to kiss her and she doesn’t let you, don’t worry.
It doesn’t mean you’re friend zone or that she’s not into you.
She might just want you to work a little harder for it.
Maybe she doesn’t want you to get the wrong impression of who she is.
Whether you get the kiss or not in that moment doesn’t matter.
What matters is that you had the balls to make the move.
And it’s at this same moment where she instantly develops a different perception of you.
You’ve communicated some great things.
Courage, confidence, and strength.
In other words, you have balls.
You’re a man.
Scared of rejection?
Maybe other guys she’s been on dates with, but not you.
You might think that something so small won’t have much of an impact.
Believe me, my friend, it does.
Many men are TERRIFIED of making the first move on a woman.
Unfortunately, these are the same men who end up in the friend zone.
If she doesn’t let you kiss her, there’s a HIGH chance she will at the end of the date.
Especially if things went well.
If you don’t get a kiss at the end, it’s OK to see her again.
It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re friend zoned.
But understand one thing.
A kiss is no big deal.
She should give you one if she had a good time and see’s you as more than a friend.
Read that last sentence again and let it sink in.
Seeing her again is your choice if she rejects your kiss.
Most women won’t go on a second date with someone they’ve friend zoned.
However, there are many who will.
Just keep that in mind before calling to take her on date # 2.
Now that we know the importance of making a move and kissing her, let’s discuss your personality and why it has a HUGE influence on whether you get a kiss or get friend zoned.
Act like an asshole and “bad boy” and she’ll love you?
Look man, I’ve never treated any woman poorly.
Trust me that you don’t have to develop this kind of personality to avoid the friend zone.
What works is presenting yourself as a man.
And how do you do that?
It’s all in your confidence.
And how do you get confidence?
You make sure you feel good.
And how do you make sure you feel good?
You drink half a bottle of Whiskey before the date.
You feel good by presenting yourself in an attractive fashion.
Those three things will have a MASSIVE impact on how you feel, act, and come across.
Next, you want to have good conversational skills.
You want her to think of you as a fun.
Fun guys are attractive to women, and boring guys get to hear all about them.
Don’t ask boring questions like “What are your life goals? What do you do for work? Where did you go to college?”
My rule of thumb is to NEVER ask these kind of questions at the beginning.
Leave them for the second or third date.
Keep the conversation fun by asking things that will stimulate her mind.
I personally ask her about traveling, her best memory, her favorite place to eat, and so on.
You’ll notice how each of these questions allows plenty of conversation.
She’ll provide you a LOT of information to build on with her responses.
Share the same things when talking about yourself.
Use action words to make your stories fun and exciting.
“I felt pure freedom jumping off the cliff. During the time I was in the air, not a single thought went through my mind. And splashing into the cold water was instant pleasure with how hot it was that day.”
You can literally feel the moment when you describe it this way.
Using stories on your first date instead of asking her boring “yes or no” questions will do wonders at keeping you out of the friend zone.
I don’t know when it became cool to compliment a woman 100 times.
Hey, whatever works for you.
But does it work?
The reality is it doesn’t.
And if you think she’ll like you more by telling her a thousand sweet things, you’re wrong.
What I always did instead was give one unique compliment.
“That color top looks great on you. It’s obvious you have a sense of style and know how to dress well.”
Don’t tell her she’s pretty.
She already knows you think that.
Plus she gets reminded by the millions of guys who tell her all the time.
You want to stand out and be different from all the guys she’s been on dates with.
Giving away too much
Look man, I know you like her, but there’s no reason to share every single thing about yourself.
I wrote this article where I explain the power of having a little mystery to you.
Inside, I explain why you don’t have to be mysterious about everything.
That’s just plain stupid.
Instead, I explain to hold back one fact.
Either what you do for work, where you live, your age, where you’re from, etc.
This works well because it makes things fun.
She’ll be curious to know and won’t stop thinking about it until you tell her.
Instead of just responding “I work in front of a computer all day” which is probably one of the most boring responses you can give a woman; you make things interesting.
Suddenly, you’re a little mysterious and different than the guys she’s used to.
Its a little cliff-hanger that keeps her hooked.
You’re also teasing her by not telling her which is a great thing.
You don’t have to keep it a mystery forever.
Just at the beginning to keep things fun.
Try it and see how well it works.
OK, so you had the balls to ask her on a date.
In her eyes, you’re a man who goes after what he wants.
But you’ve only won half the battle.
You still have to prove yourself.
You have to lead her.
This means YOU decide where you’re going to go and what you’re going to do.
DO NOT ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO.
“I’m taking you for drinks at this really cool place you’re going to love.”
You don’t have to keep what you’re going to do a secret.
At the same time, you don’t have to tell her the name of the place.
This allows her to be intrigued and excited of where she’s going.
Unless she’s meeting you there, simply tell her what you two are going to be doing, but not where.
Doing this communicates confidence.
You don’t seek her approval, and that’s attractive to her.
“Oh, is it OK if we go here?”
That’s what friends do.
Make all the plans yourself and lead her.
It makes a difference.
Going in for the kiss smoothly
This is something that I personally tried and always had great results with.
You might be thinking that when I mentioned “Go for the kiss in the middle of the date”, I meant while you’re having drinks or coffee.
Here’s what you’re going to do instead.
After drinks or coffee, you have to go for a walk somewhere.
Whether it’s the beach, a boardwalk, or a park.
What matters is that you walk.
I got this idea from the movie Good Luck Chuck.
Chuck was on a date and got the first kiss while walking.
I felt that this was a smooth way to get the first kiss.
As you’re walking and talking, her mind is being stimulated.
Also, the conversation and fresh air allow her to relax.
Watch the scene in the movie and notice how smoothly things play out.
I tried the walking thing but also added my own little twist.
What I do is try to get her to laugh about something.
I either tease her about something or share a funny story.
After she’s laughed, I slow down just a bit allowing her to walk a few steps ahead of me.
Not a lot, just one or two steps.
As she’s walking, I grab her hand from behind, turn her around, say “Come here” as I pull her towards me, and wrap my hands around the side of her head as I go in for the kiss.
This works well because it’s smooth, romantic, different, and catches her off guard.
Now, let me make a few things clear.
You have to do all of the above in a smooth fashion.
That means slowly and gently.
When I grab her hand, I do it gently.
When I pull her to me, I do it slowly.
And when I say “come here”, I don’t say it like a weirdo who’s trying to kidnap her.
I say it in a relaxed and confident tone of voice.
Wrapping it all up
Combining everything above will keep you out of the friend zone.
At the end of the day, there’s always going to be women who just aren’t into you.
However, what’s important is that you find out as quickly as possible.
Many guys are friend zoned immediately and don’t even know it.
The main reason many guys are victims is that they don’t make a move quickly enough.
They unconsciously communicate fear and insecurity to women.
And guess what?
That isn’t going to lead you anywhere good.
You know where men who have fear and insecurity end up?
The friend zone.
If you have confirmation that you’ve been friend zoned, do NOT waste any more time with her.
You’re better off moving on to another woman who’s just as pretty and fun as her.
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