If you want my personal dating advice, see the end of this article for more details.
Many men go on first dates with women that unfortunately don’t lead to a second date.
These same men are left wondering what went wrong:
“Everything went great, why doesn’t she want to see me again?”
While you might think that everything went great, you probably did or said something that made her lose interest.
And, she probably acted nice until the end of the date even though she had already decided that she wasn’t going to see you again.
You see, contrary to popular belief, a woman won’t just get up in the middle of a date if she loses interest in you.
So, just because she stayed until the end of the date, doesn’t necessarily mean she wanted to.
Are you following me?
Below are 7 things men do that ruin first dates with women.
See if you can recall doing any of them the last time you went on a date.
1) Talking about your ex-girlfriend
The woman you’re on a date with doesn’t care to hear about your ex-girlfriend.
Sure, if you begin dating seriously, she’ll want to learn about your past, but not during your first date.
By bringing up your ex-girlfriend, it makes her wonder if you’re still not over the relationship, or even worse, if you’re just using her as a “rebound”.
You should be talking about YOU and interesting things going on in your life, not about how your ex-girlfriend broke your heart or how you left her because she was acting crazy.
Make sense?
2) Complaining about women
Complaining about women you’ve dated is a surefire way to turn a woman off.
As a man, there’s no reason to complain about your dating past.
Not only will she think that you’ve developed hatred towards women, but she’ll wonder what your true intentions are with her.
Think about it…
Put yourself in her shoes and imagine what you’d think if she began talking negatively about men she’s dated.
How would that make you feel?
Would you think that she’ worth seeing again?
No matter how many women have disappointed you in the past, don’t let that ruin your chances with a woman who might actually be worth your time and attention.
Leave the disappointment where it belongs…in the past.
3) Complaining about your life
Do you hate your job?
That’s your business.
Do you lack motivation to improve yourself?
That’s your business.
Do all your friends suck and only call you when they need something?
That’s your business…but while we’re on the topic, you might want to change your phone number.
Complaining isn’t sexy or manly to women, it’s annoying and a turnoff.
Men who complain do so because they prefer to act and feel helpless.
Do you think that acting and feeling helpless will make her want to see you again?
Easy answer.
If you catch yourself complaining about something, IMMEDIATELY tell her what you’re going to do to fix it.
However, it’s best not to complain at all.
Trust me.
4) Being too serious
Many men treat their first dates with women as if it were the MOST important event of their lives.
They go into the date with this mindset:
“I better not mess this up because who knows how long before I, if ever, meet another woman”.
Really?
My friend, there are many, MANY women out there waiting for you to approach and ask them out.
If you’re too focused on the date going perfect, you’re going to come across as too serious, anxious and nervous.
As a result, she too will feel and act serious, anxious and nervous.
In order for a woman to relax, especially on a first date, you need to be laid back, fun and relaxed.
Don’t overthink everything you say or do.
Instead, go with the remember that if it doesn’t workout with the woman in front of you, there’s a lot of other women waiting to meet you.
Relax, smile and have fun.
After all, it’s a date, not your wedding.
5) Being too funny
Trying too hard to be funny is bound to fail.
Women will pick up on it and perceive it as insecurity.
She’ll think: “He’s trying too hard to get me to like him. Why is he trying so hard, he barely even knows me”.
Read that last sentence again and think about it for a few minutes.
There’s nothing wrong with making a few jokes or teasing her a little to make the date fun, but don’t turn into a comedian.
Inside my book, I give step-by-step examples of how to tease her without coming across like you’re trying too hard. (Get my book here)
6) Agreeing with everything she says
While you may think that agreeing with everything she says will make her feel like you have a lot in common, it won’t.
Let me remind you that the phrase is “We have a lot in common” not “We have everything in common”.
See the difference?
A woman knows when you’re being too agreeable, and she knows why you’re doing it.
This makes you appear insincere.
How do you avoid coming across as too agreeable?
Challenge her opinion on something.
Example:
Her: “I think that the ending of the movie meant this…”
You: “Yeah, I see why you think that. However, I think that it actually meant this…”
As you see in the example above, I’m not saying that her opinion is wrong, I’m simply not agreeing with it.
You follow me?
Not only does this make you come across as authentic, but the fact that you challenged her opinion stirs up a fun debate and leads to a great conversation.
I’ve done this on EVERY SINGLE DATE I’ve been on, and woman always respond positively.
Try it and see for yourself.
7) Approval seeking and asking if she’s OK
“Is it OK if we go here?”
“I like this appetizer, do you?…Or should I order something else?
“Can I call you tonight?”
“Would it be OK if I hold your hand?”
“Are you having a good time?”
“Do you like me so far” (PLEASE DON’T EVER ASK HER THIS QUESTION)
Stop it!
Women don’t want a timid man who needs assurance and confirmation before his every move.
They want a man who is assertive, confident and doesn’t ask for permission.
A man who takes the lead and guides her through the date, not a boy who’s scared to get her mad or disappoint her.
If there’s something she doesn’t like, she’ll let you know.
She’s an adult who can take care of herself.
The last thing she wants is to feel like she’s out with her dad.
Allow her to come to you if there’s something she doesn’t like.
Trust me that she’ll be glad you did.
Talk soon,
-Alexander Writer
PS – Click here now to learn more about my book
Leave a Reply