If you’ve been on a first date that didn’t go too well, stop what you’re doing and pay attention.
Below, I’ll be discussing the top 4 mistakes men make that ruin first dates.
These are mistakes that I’ve heard MANY women complain about.
Therefore, you can rest assured that they’re accurate.
Ready?
Mistake # 1) The interview
The last thing you’ll ever want a date to become is boring.
I guarantee there won’t be a 2nd date if she doesn’t enjoy the first one.
And what’s something that forces a boring date?
Asking too many questions.
Can you guess what happens when you ask questions during the entire date?
You prevent an interesting conversation from taking place.
It’s okay to ask her a few questions so you can have information to build on.
That’s fine.
However, what you’ll want to avoid is asking back to back questions.
You’ll avoid this by asking ONE question, listening, and responding.
When you respond, simply build on what she said.
For example:
You: What’s the best trip you’ve been on?
Her: I traveled with friends to Hawaii once, it was so beautiful.
You: I bet it was. I’ve never gone, but I’ve seen pictures and videos of how clear the water is and how amazing the waterfalls look. I imagine everyone who lives there must be relaxed and peaceful.
Her: Oh yeah, definitely. The atmosphere is really very laid back. Everyone is so friendly. And, the quality of food is very fresh. I want to go back one day.
You: A laid back lifestyle sounds nice, but I wonder if I’d get bored of it after a while. I’m sure the quality of fish over there must be amazing. I love seafood.
…See what I did there?
I didn’t ask her another question after she answered the first one.
Instead, I built on her response as much as possible.
This allowed the conversation to flow naturally.
Non-stop questions make the date feel like a job interview.
If you’ve ever been to a job interview, you know how uncomfortable they can be.
Each question that you’re asked is used to validate you for the position.
As a result, you can’t help but feel nervous.
Maybe you’re not extremely nervous, but one thing’s for sure – You’re not at ease.
Asking a woman endless questions doesn’t allow her mind to relax.
Basically, you’re making her think and respond during the entire date.
Anyone who’s asked endless questions does NOT have a good time.
Trust me.
Mistake # 2) Worrying about her
“Do you like this place?”
“Do you like your food?”
“Are you having a good time?”
“Is everything alright?”
“What are you thinking about?”
Men who ask these kind of questions repel women.
Instead of showing her a good time, you make her feel like she’s out with her dad.
Basically, you’re trying to take care of her as if she were your little daughter.
Do you think she’ll like or feel sexy around you if you treat her this way?
Easy answer.
When out on a date (especially the FIRST date), allow her to take care of herself.
If she doesn’t like something, she’ll tell you.
If you constantly worry about her, not only do you annoy her, but you also display lack of confidence.
She’ll know you’re acting this way because you fear losing her.
Why in the world would you worry about losing a woman you barely know?
If things don’t go well, you can always meet another woman to go on a date with.
Why would you be trying so hard to make sure she’s enjoying herself?
Think about it…
If you’re the type of man who knows he can meet and date women whenever he wants, you wouldn’t act this way.
Instead, you’d be relaxed and fun.
But, when you’re scared to lose her, you make one thing very obvious…
You don’t believe in your ability to meet and attract other women.
And guess what?
She instantly notices and gets turned off.
She’ll know that you consider yourself “lucky” to be out with her
…And that you feel like you don’t really deserve her.
Therefore, you try EXTREMELY hard to please her.
Do you see what’s happening?
I suggest reading this section twice, it’s very POWERFUL.
Mistake # 3) Trying hard to impress her
Sure, it only makes sense to “impress her” in order to get her to like you, right?
Wrong.
Men who try to impress women by bragging about their accomplishments, how much money they make, how much they bench pressed at the gym today, and so on; end up turning her off.
Just like in the last section, she’ll know your reason for doing this.
Basically, you’re trying to get her approval.
In other words, you’re working hard to get her to like you.
Trust me that you don’t have to brag about things that you think/know she’ll find attractive.
Women will figure EVERYTHING out on their own.
As soon as you start bragging, you begin killing her attraction and interest in you.
If you make good money, she’ll figure it out.
If you bench press a lot in the gym, she’ll know by looking at you.
If you’re well educated, it’ll be obvious during your conversation.
Always let your accomplishments and strengths speak for themselves.
Period.
Mistake # 4) Choosing a loud place
The goal of a first date is to get to know each other.
You’re both trying to have a good time and ultimately decide if a second date is a good idea.
In order to figure this out, what’s the one thing you’ll need to do?
TALK.
If you take her to a place where the music is overly loud, or where there’s too much distraction, talking will be nearly impossible.
Likewise, if you take her to the movies, a play/opera, or anywhere else where talking is prohibited; you’ll face the same issue.
I strongly suggest taking women to places you’re familiar with.
This will assure that you’ll be able to have a conversation without a problem.
Conclusion
Now that you’re aware of the 4 horrific mistakes men make on first dates, make sure you review them on the regular so you can avoid them.
Succeeding on first dates with women gets easier every time you do it.
Like I’ve mentioned in other articles, “experience” is the BEST teacher.
Remember, there are COUNTLESS women available for you to meet and date.
Have fun, be safe, and don’t ever try too hard to get any particular woman to like you.
Talk soon,
-Alexander Writer
PS – Did this article help you? You’ll love my book Dating Mastery. Click here for more information.
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