What If She Doesn’t Call You Back?
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Things sure have changed, man.
Back in the day, there weren’t any “dating games”.
Dating was simple and straightforward.
A man saw a woman he found attractive, approached her, they dated, and got married.
There was no “playing hard to get”, no waiting before responding to a text, and no mind games.
People today over analyze EVERYTHING when dating.
They make things so complicated.
Where did things go wrong?
Dating use to be fun and easy!
One of the biggest concerns men have is what to do if they call a women and she doesn’t answer or call him back.
If you have this worry, I have a simple solution for you.
First, understand one thing…
When a woman is into you, she’s into you.
Period.
If she really wants to date you, she will.
Sure, she might play a little hard to get as I teach you inside my book Dating Mastery (click here to download your copy now), but she just wants you to desire her.
And you should make a little effort if you’re truly interested.
But…
There’s a HUGE difference between making effort and not respecting yourself.
So, let’s use the example of her not calling you back.
You met, hanged out, everything went great, gave her a follow up call, but she didn’t answer or call you back.
What do you do now?
You wait.
She could have a million reasons for not answering or calling back.
She’s shopping, out with friends, lost her phone, sleeping, and oh yeah…maybe just not interested in you.
Does it matter?
No.
Should you be mad, sad, or disappointed?
You could, but it’s pointless.
Here’s the correct way to handle this.
First of all, you only called her ONCE.
Yes, in today’s day and age, calling more than once is considered desperate.
Obviously, I’m exaggerating here, but it’s to prove a point.
Now…
Since you called and she didn’t reply, allow her two days to get back to you.
If she hasn’t returned your call after two days, call her one FINAL time.
What does this do?
By waiting 2 days, you communicate all the right things.
1) You show persistence in case she wanted you to prove you’re really into her.
2) You handle the situation like a man.
You went out with her, liked her, called her back and got no answer.
So what did you do?
You called her again because you know she either didn’t receive your call or she wanted you to make a little extra effort.
You didn’t start calling or text her desperate things like:
“Hey I called you, everything OK?
“Are you mad?”
“Did I do something wrong?”
Instead, you gave her a chance to get back to you.
If she didn’t get back to you, you tried one final time.
Before I continue, it’s important not to take the word “final”, lightly.
I really mean it.
There’s no excuse for a woman not to return your call after you’ve called her twice.
She’s either not interested or is acting like a child.
And unless that’s what you’re looking for, you should avoid her at ALL cost.
What To Do When She Calls Back
When she calls back, don’t ask why she didn’t answer your call.
She’ll tell you if she wants to.
Keep the conversation short and make plans to see her again.
After talking for a few minutes, say something like:
“Hanging out the other night was fun, let’s do it again Friday”
I always recommend keeping the conversations short on the phone when first getting to know a woman.
Why?
Because it allows for plenty of conversation when you guys are out together.
Leave the long and intimate phone conversations for when you guys are a couple.
For now…
Let’s keep things short, fun, and drama free.
The way dating should be.
If she returns your call a week later and has a GOOD reason, make plans to see her.
Returning your call a week later without good reason is unacceptable.
Remember, you want to be a gentlemen and show interest.
…But you do not want to allow ANY type of disrespect!
Just like you respect her and her time, she should do the same.
-Alexander Writer
Wyle says
This one girl, who knew me a few times in passing at church was so touched that I acknowledged her on Mother’s Day with a card, that she gave me her phone number the following week. I txted her an hour later to talk. So we talked for about 20 minutes and then I had to go. Txted her 2 days later and she was glad to receive my message. We then talked on the same night for 2hrs. That was last week. It’s been 5 days and she hasn’t called or txted me. I didn’t contact her either because I already made 2 attempts to contact her and should it not be her turn next if she’s interested enough? Shouldn’t communication be a 2 way street? I think one week is more than enough to see if I get a txt or call from her. If not, I’ll move on.
Alex (Administrator) says
Maybe she’s waiting for you to ask her on a date. Maybe she thinks you lost interest since you haven’t called or text her anymore.
Many women don’t like to appear desperate so they won’t text or call at the beginning until after you’ve been on a few dates.
Call her ask ask her out. She might askk you where you’ve been. Tell her you were going to set up a date a few days ago but had a ton of things come up.
Don’t let anymore time go by. Let us all know what happens…
Dave says
I have to learn how to get into the new game of getting dates things have changed been out of dating seen because work !
Alexander Writer says
Practice makes perfect, Dave. The best thing to do is start gainin experience by going on all the dates you can.
Martin says
Ok so I had a great first date with this lady. We laughed, talked (although I acknowledge I may have talked too much) she said she found be very funny and there were even buying signs like her touching my arm. The next day, I went on holiday for a week and wheb I returned I called her but she didn’t answer. And she didn’t return my call either. Now, in order to create challenge I haven’t called her. I now realise I should have tried again after two days. It’s now a week to the day. Do I call her? Is it too late? Am I out the game? Ps: I’m not sure if this is indicative of anything but since our first date and to this day, she is always the first one to watch my snapchat stories. So again to create challenge I have been deliberately showing myself out on dates/parties and events to demonstrate I have a life outside of her. But I keep thinking about her. Again – Am I out the game with her? Does she have low interest levels not answering my call a week after our amazing first date? And worse still, is she totally not interested by not returning my call?
Help – I’m confused
CaliGuy says
Truthfully dating modern women is just hard. It doesn’t matter who you are. Rejection or falling out happens to the best of us. You can hit all the right cues, but like the article suggests. If shes just not into you shes just not into you.
The trick is to be as social as possible and just keep collecting phone numbers and keep practicing you’re A game until you strike gold!
It takes patience and precision. Compatibility is key. You want to meet someone you click with instead of molding yourself to get her to like you, because if she doesn’t dig you for you, trust me, its not going to work out.
So don’t get hung up on one female. If she doesn’t call or text you back theres really no hidden secret method to drawing her in. She just doesn’t respect you, and if you’re hung up on her it sounds like you don’t respect yourself.
You’ve got to be flexible, and ready to move onto the next one. Chances are shes not sitting around obsessing over you, so don’t you think its a little odd you are?
Catch, throw back, and release. Try again with someone new.
Alexander Writer says
Excellent comment!
Tony says
OK. Thanks for the update. I met this woman few months ago but after the first date, I didn’t follow her up again, meanwhile I tried to call her after some days but she didn’t reply as well as my text message. What should I do now, I like her but don’t want to appear DESPERATE. Thanks
asfsd says
Call only once and leave a message which explicitly tells her to call you back and leave it at that. No need to call twice.
Alexander Writer says
Exactly.
Danny says
I met this lady and we became friends within short time. we talked a lot on the phone and I asked her out. she told me she was in a relationship and all
but I thought she was just saying that to see my reaction. I didn’t give up but she no longer picks my calls. I have tried not calling for 4 weeks and tried calling again but still she doesn’t pick up. what should I do? should I apologize for having interest in her or what? I really love her but am confused. I would love to really talk to her to clear things out but she won’t pick up. I feel dispected… please help!
Tee says
I know you’re in love, but from reading your situation it seems you have to let go. She specifically told you she’s seeing someone, so whether she’s lying or telling the truth, that’s a lose/lose for you. Her not returning your calls only cements the deal further. Sorry, man.
Paul says
Went out on a first date with a girl after two weeks of talking with her on social media. The first date went well in my eyes and she was flirty throughout the night and she told me a lot of personal stuff which I appreciate. When I asked her what she liked about me she said she liked that I was funny and seemed intelligent and believed her because she laughed a lot during our date. The thing that sucked is that I didnt get to kiss her because she said she did not kiss guys on first dates. I called her two days after our date and it has been a day now and she has not called back. Any ideas as to what may have happened?
Tony says
Long time friends with a woman. We went out on Saturday and had a good time. I was tired so she let me sleep on her couch. I woke up at midnight and decided to leave. She calls me at 2:30 am and asked what happened? She said she thought she might of said something, I just told her I woke up with a headache and couldn’t sleep so I left.
She proceeded to call me two more times on Sunday. One of the conversations she told me her brother was wondering what was up with her and I and she said we were just friends. Then she mentioned her Mom saying nice things about me…not sure why she would bring that up?
Anyway, her and I talk a lot on the phone. Many times on the weekend as early as 4:30am. Once in awhile I’ll call her before I go to work when she has the day off. Last week when I did I told her she was my bowl of Wheaties in the morning to which she laughed and thanked me.
I tried calling her this morning before work and she didn’t answer. No big deal, she could have been sleeping. But she never returned my call this evening either. She always returns my calls. Now I’m mindf**king myself, wondering if she had another guy over Sunday night and avoided my call in the morning because he was still there and avoided calling me tonight, well, because we are just friends and she might be more than just friends…(don’t really know if there is someone else, although I know she checked her cell phone on Saturday night while I was getting drinks).
Anyway, we are just friends, I do care about her but am resorted to just being friends. Would hate to find out she is seeing some guy though. How do I ask her without sounding clingy. I mean I guess I’d rather know straight up than suddenly have her ignoring my calls, when she never did before.
Bito says
Call her ONLY ONCE. If she is not there, leave a voice mail. If she doesn’t call you back within 24 hours, then you can be 95 percent sure that she is not romantically interested in you. If she doesn’t call you back within a week, then you can be sure that she is not only not romantically interested in you, she is not even interested in you as just a friend even. Losers call back more than once. Winners move on to the next girl.
Alexander Writer says
Go get them tiger!
Jess says
I was dating this girl for two months and she was madly in Love with me. I went to a work function with her and drank too much and I know that embarrassed her. She didn’t talk to me for the next three days and broke up with me. I apologized for my behavior and she said she wasn’t breaking up with me for getting drunk she just didnt feel that spark anymore. I didn’t beg her just said ok and we parted ways. I let it sit for a month and texted her a question to see if she would answer which she did but didn’t respond again. Gave it another month and texted she responded a day later saying she could talk to me because she was dating someone.
I Love this girl but never told her and I want another chance with her. My question is how can I win her back without seeming desperate? I have only contacted or texted her three times in four months. I know everyone is going to say move on or she is not interested. I have tried, I have dated several girls since we broke up but I still want her back. I think giving up is what losers do because they know they can’t win. I have heard stories from old men where they had to chase their girl to win them back and they have been happy married 40, 50 even 60 years. I have never wanted to get back with a ex so I guess that’s why I’m having a hard time.
DeShawn says
I went out with this girl i call mimi in high school i dump her but i still love her she lives in atl now and i stay in north carolina we started talking back on the phone she sounded kind of disapointed when i said i have scizoprienia but when i move to atl she text me and said she wanted too see me but i move back to nc since then she will answer but say let me call you back what advice do you have
Samuel says
I used to know this girl from collage.. And at first she was the one who wanted her friend to introuce her to me. We did. Even she was seeing someone, but i graduated and left the collage, after 6 month i ended up there for other reasons and we stumbled on each other, latter on that night she called me we met and had great time for two days coz i had to return to my work in other city. But when i called and textd her after i got there she didnt pick up And return my call there after. I only did it once. I know she was into me. Does it means i hav to try again?
Rohit says
I met one girl at my office and we started talking to each other. one day she said that you will always be my friend na and never leave me na and I said nothing. when we were in the training she always stares at me when I see her she started looking somewhere else, she always tried to help me and even I alwys tried to help her. Two times she said me to sit near her and I sat but she because very nervous while talking to me. one day I had seen her cousin looking at me and smiled and after that I had seen her cousin always smiling by looking at me. After that we had divided into different team and we had a less conversation between us and sometimes even not. she always had a check where i m going. I remember it was my last day of my job when I enter in the office and she said Hi to me with a smile and I also said Hi and smiled at her, after that I went to washroom and when I enter on the floor she started smiling by seeing me with her cousin. I think she is eagerly waiting for me to come on the floor. After leaving the office, I had taken her number from my friend and called her and had a conversation with her. when i called her first time we had conversation was about 20 minutes. In a conversation she also said why don’t you call anushka and sarah. Actually they are in the training with us and I usually talk with them. After 4 days i called her again we had a conversation for 28 min. In a conversation she said you do flirt and i said no. she asked me your friend did not tease you while talking to me and i said no. I told them you are my close friend then she said ok. she also said she has a boyfriend but I know she is telling a lie. she also said why don’t you go to date with prabhas, he is my office friend with whom i was usually be in the office. after 6 days I called her again first time she has not picked up the phone and after 10 min I had called her again, she picked up and we had a conversation for 45 min. In a conversation she said, you will not change the wife like a job and i said no. she also said I will find a girl for you who is single. I have a many friends, so i told her that believe in true love until i don’t feel for that girl, i will not love that girl, she also said you will invite me to your weeding na and I said yes. whatever the conversation we had, she is saying everything with excitement to my office friend prabhas who was with me in that office and she tells him don’t say to me and otherwise i will not talk to you. She also said i had received a call from me to our training batches and after that she said I m joking. yesterday i had called her but her phone was showing busy after that I had not called her and she also didn’t call me. whenever i used to called her she is saying everything to my friend what does it mean, i m confused does she loves me or not? she really has a boyfriend or not? When I should call her?
Rohit says
I met one girl at my office and we started talking to each other. one day she said that you will always be my friend na and never leave me na and I said nothing. when we were in the training she always stares at me when I see her she started looking somewhere else, she always tried to help me and even I alwys tried to help her. one day I had seen her cousin looking at me and smiled and after that I had seen her cousin always smiling by looking at me. After that we had divided into different team and we had a less conversation between us and sometimes even not. she always had a check where i m going. I remember it was my last day of my job when I enter in the office and she said Hi to me with a smile and I also said Hi and smiled at her, after that I went to washroom and when I enter on the floor she started smiling by seeing me with her cousin. I think she is eagerly waiting for me to come on the floor. After leaving the office, I had taken her number from my friend and called her and had a conversation with her. when i called her first time we had conversation was about 20 minutes. In a conversation she also said why don’t you call anushka and sarah. Actually they are in the training with us and I usually talk with them. After 4 days i called her again we had a conversation for 28 min. In a conversation she said you do flirt and i said no. she asked me your friend did not tease you while talking to me and i said no. I told them you are my close friend then she said ok. she also said why don’t you go to date with prabhas, he is my office friend with whom i was usually be in the office. she also said she has a boyfriend. After 6 days again I called her we had a conversation for 45 minutes. In a conversation, she said I want to see movie and i said why don’t we go for a movie but she said i m not well. Also I said can we meet me she said nothing. she also mentioned you will not change a wife like job na. last time when I called her her phone was showing busy and after that i had not called her and she also didn’t call me. She is saying every conversation with me to my office friend prabhas who was with me in that office and also say hm don’t tell me or otherwise I will not talk to you. She also said with excitement to our training batches that i had received a call from me and later on said i m joking. I don’t understand she really has a boyfriend or telling a lie? Does she really loves me? what should I do know?
Weston says
I hit it off with this girl on social media (Snapchat) and I asked her out to movies and dinner and she said yes. Unfortunately we weren’t able to go to dinner because her friend was invited to a party in the city and didn’t want to go alone so we had to cut our date short.
The movie date didn’t go bad but like any movie date, we weren’t able to have a in depth conversation which I had hoped to have with the planned dinner.
I texted her about an 2 hours after the movie and told her I had a great tome and asked if she made it to the city safely. She replied and thanked me for taking her. Ii texted her again but this time I got no reply. I waited a full day and then called her to ask her for a second date. Unfortunately no answer.
Should I text her and ask her for a second date? I’m not entirely sure if this ship has sailed but I don’t want to leave no stones left unturned. Any suggestions/advice is appreciated.