How Often Should I See My Girlfriend?
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re asking yourself “How often should I see my girlfriend“?
Let me read your mind.
You met, everything is going great, she’s your girlfriend, and you don’t
want to mess it up.
You want to see her often so she feels that you care, but at the same time, you don’t want to appear “clingy”.
You don’t want her to get bored of you.
Look man, I get it.
She’s great, she’s everything you ever wanted in a woman, and you don’t want that to go away.
It took you long enough to find her, and you don’t think you’ll ever find another girl like her.
First things first…
There’s plenty of women who are just like her, and yes, even better than her.
Why did I just say that?
Because when you have a scarcity mindset, you bring that into your relationship.
Women are AMAZING at picking up on your insecurities and concerns.
If you’re worried about losing her and see her often to make sure that doesn’t happen, guess what?
She will notice!
Insecurity is a MAJOR turn off for women.
So let me begin saying that seeing your girlfriend everyday is a BAD idea!
If you’re doing it…STOP!
I don’t want to hear that she’s your best friend, that you two never fight, and that your relationship is different from everyone else’s.
I want you to STOP seeing her every day.
Can you do that?
No? Stop reading right now.
Yes? Let’s continue.
Why Seeing Your Girlfriend Everyday is A Bad Idea
“OK Alexander, I get it. You want me to stop seeing her every day, but can you explain why?”
OK, my friend, here I go.
Seeing your girlfriend every day doesn’t allow one very important thing:
For you and her to miss each other.
Why is it important that you miss each other?
If you don’t, you don’t develop a strong bond.
You never experience what it’s like to be without one another.
…Or how much you really like each other.
Does that make sense?
The relationship becomes predictable.
You know what’s going to happen tomorrow, right?
You’re going to see her.
You know what you’ll be doing next week Tuesday, right?
You’re going to see her.
It seems harmless now, but the longer you date, the quicker things become predictable and boring.
Predictability KILLS relationships.
If you want to keep your girlfriend happy, excited, and “into you’, then you need to keep that fire burning.
Women get bored QUICK, it’s an issue in many relationships.
Guys become predictable and women begin wanting to spend less and less time with them.
Before you know it, she’ll become distant and eventually tell you that she wants to break-up.
It’s not rare to hear women say things like:
“It was great at the beginning and I really liked him, but I don’t know, I just started to feel different about him for some reason...I saw him more as a friend than a boyfriend.”
Unfortunately, this happens to MANY guys all over the world.
…But it doesn’t have to happen to you!
How Many Times A Week Should You See Your Girlfriend?
“OK Alex, you convinced me, I’ll stop seeing my girlfriend every day, but how many times a week is acceptable then?”
The answer is simple, my friend.
The trick is to switch things up.
Let me explain.
The issue isn’t really seeing your girlfriend every day; it’s her knowing when she’s going to see you.
See the difference?
Believe it or not, it’s OK to have a week here and there where you see her daily.
It’s nice to bond for an entire week and spend time just the two of you on a trip or something.
This is how memories are created.
However, if you see her daily and stay at home watching a movie, eating, or staring at your phones – you’ll be well on your way to a predictable relationship that will lack intimacy, excitement, and passion.
Here’s what I personally do.
I constantly switch up how often I see my girlfriend.
Some weeks I’ll see her once or twice.
Other weeks, I’ll see her four or five times.
This week I might see her Monday, Friday, and Saturday.
Next week I might see her just Thursday and Sunday.
This week we might do to dinner and a movie.
Next week I might take her on a surprise trip.
Stop for a minute and read those last seven sentences again.
…Do you see what’s happening?
I’m not allowing the relationship to become predictable.
She never knows how many times we’ll see each other or when.
I always give her time to miss me.
Is this playing mind games or is it giving her what she really wants?
Well, if it allows our relationship to GROW and develop a better bond by providing the chance to miss each other, then I think it’s FAR from playing mind games; it’s actually healthy.
WOMEN NEED SPACE!
They need time to think, hang with their friends to shop and gossip, and most importantly, to miss you!
On days you don’t see her, you can give her a quick 5-10 minute phone call and talk about her day.
Even texting a few times throughout the day is OK, just don’t make it an all day thing.
As long as you don’t see each other every single day, week after week, the relationship will be fine.
…All things considered, of course.
Your girlfriend shouldn’t be the only thing going on in your life.
As a man, you should always have hobbies that don’t include your girlfriend.
Your girlfriend should always feel like you care about her but that you can live without her.
In other words, yeah you like her a lot, but if she were to leave you, you’d be perfectly fine.
Believe it or not, just this one quality is extremely attractive to women and will keep her around you.
Take guitar lessons, go mountain biking with friends, join a boxing gym, or any other hobby you’d like.
Always communicate you’re an independent person who values yourself and constantly improves.
You’re girlfriend should add to your happiness and joy in life, not be the only reason for it.
As a side benefit, your personal hobbies will give you something to talk to her about.
So stop asking yourself “How often should I see my girlfriend“.
Instead, constantly switch it up, and you’ll be fine.
Note: I’m not telling you to make a schedule every week with your girlfriend.
Don’t call her on Sunday and say “Hey, this week I’m seeing you Monday and Thursday.”
That’s just plain weird and silly.
Just go with the flow.
If you see her today, plan something else to do without her tomorrow.
You can thank me later.
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