8 Reasons Why You Can’t Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend

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You don’t have to say anything, bud, I already know what you’re going through.

It sucks, I know.

But it’s part of life, man.

You meet a great woman, date her, and unfortunately lose her at some point.

Maybe it’s your fault, maybe it’s hers.

Does it matter?

No.

All that matters right now is that you know and accept that it’s over.

The good news?

Things will definitely get better.

The bad news?

The way you’re feeling right now is something that ONLY time will heal.

But, this article will help you see things from a different angle and expedite the healing process.

So, I know you’re feeling down, but keep your head up so you can read this till the very end.

Here we go!

1) Habit

I’ve written many articles that touch on how powerful habits are and how they run our lives.

Basically, anything you do for 30 consecutive days becomes a habit.

For every additional day after that, the habit grows stronger and stronger.

So, if you were with your girlfriend any longer than 30 days, it’s safe to say that you developed the habit of having her in your life.

Read that last sentence again and think about it for a moment…

Now, am I saying that this is the ONLY reason why you miss her?

No.

What I’m saying is that this is possibly the MAIN reason.

You might be thinking that you have all these feelings and emotions for her when in reality she might have not been what’s best for you.

In other words, you were only staying with her out of habit.

Make sense?

Breaking a habit takes a long time and it’s never easy.

The longer you do (or date) someone, the longer it takes to forget.

With that said, know that the main reason you miss your ex-girlfriend is because you’re use to having her around, not because she was the last girlfriend you’ll ever have.

You didn’t miss her BEFORE you met her, right?

I know the answer to that question is obvious, but think about it.

2) Loneliness

Loneliness is NEVER is a good thing.

And, if you’re already experienced the joy of having someone next to you, it’ll make loneliness feel 10x worse!

But, it’s important to know that loneliness can actually be good for you at times.

Sometimes, being “lonely” is the only way to reflect and figure out what YOU really need and want.

With that said, loneliness is still a miserable feeling and it’s another possible reason for why you miss your ex.

Am I telling you to run and find another girl immediately so that you eliminate this feeling?

No.

Embrace the feeling of loneliness (as crazy as that sounds) and take time to yourself.

It’s important.

3) Self-esteem

A break-up can cause damage to your self-esteem.

Basically, it can make you feel as if you weren’t “enough” or capable of keeping a woman satisfied.

The reality is that I don’t know why YOUR relationship ended.

Maybe you were too clingy and needy.

Maybe you disrespected her or caused her to lose trust in you.

Maybe she just got bored of the relationship.

Regardless of the reason, one thing is for certain…

It’s over.

And knowing this provides a feeling of hopelessness in your stomach.

It’s this same hopeless feeling that damages your self-esteem.

The solution?

Time.

Time is the only thing that will allow things to get get better.

Sure, others will tell you to “get back out there” and start dating new women immediately.

I don’t recommend that.

While I do recommend getting out of the house, I don’t recommend you immediately jump into the dating scene.

Take some time to heal from the break-up before making yourself available again.

You don’t want to bring your “baggage” into your next relationship.

It won’t do anything good for you or the next women you meet.

4) Scarcity mindset

This is the underlying cause of men who struggle with break-ups.

Coincidentally, as I mention inside my book Dating Mastery, it’s also the reason why men push women away and FORCE a break-up.

Men with a scarcity mindset automatically assume that THIS WOMAN is the LAST one they’ll ever meet.

Even though there’s BILLIONS of women on this planet, for some reason, there are men who meet a woman and believe she’s the last one available to him.

The reality is that you can meet a new woman every day for the rest of your life and not even come close to meeting and dating 1% of the woman who’d be interested in you.

You follow me?

Regardless of who you are, where you’re from, and what you look like; you have an ENDLESS supply of women to choose from.

 However, you can’t see them because they’re obviously not ALL lined up in front of you.

…But just know that they’re out there waiting for you.

Don’t worry, I get it, you and your ex-girlfriend had all these little inside jokes and special moments that you can never experience with another woman.

Guess what?

You’re wrong.

The same way you experienced a ton of “special moments” with her, you’ll experience them with someone else.

It’s just your scarcity mindset making you believe that you won’t.

But trust me, you will.

I promise.

5) Disappointment

At the end of the day, a break-up causes you disappointment.

Besides having to say “bye” to her, you also have to accept and live with the fact that your relationship failed.

It’s fine.

I mean, technically, it isn’t; but it will be eventually.

And even though that’s the last thing you believe at the moment, the fact of the matter is that you will get over it and move on.

6) Love is real

While there are many people who believe love is something that’s falsely portrayed by Hollywood, the reality is that it’s REAL.

I’ve personally been in love with a woman, and trust me I know the difference between “really liking someone” and “loving them”.

If you loved your ex, it’s going to make it even harder to let go.

I remember telling one of my best friends that  breaking up with someone you love is almost as bad as a funeral.

You’re basically saying goodbye and never seeing them again.

The relationship is dead.

Sure, there’s the possibility that you’ll run into them in public or that maybe one day you’ll rekindle the relationship.

But the reality is that you probably won’t.

The good news is that you will be happy again one day with a woman who will make you feel more ALIVE than you’ve ever felt.

And that, my friend, is the damn truth!

7) Fear of the unknown

Besides a scarcity mindset, another reason why you might not be able to get over your ex-girlfriend is because you might be experiencing “fear of the unknown”.

In other words, maybe you don’t have a scarcity mindset.

Maybe you know that you can and will meet another woman.

However, you’re worried about how things might go.

Since you were so comfortable and happy with your ex-girlfriend, you fear not knowing if you’ll ever experience something similar with someone else.

Believe me, you will.

8) Obsession

And the last and final reason why you can’t get over your ex-girlfriend is because you allowed yourself to become obsessed with her.

Let me explain.

A common mistake men make is turning their girlfriends into the MOST important thing in their lives.

While you should consider your girlfriend important, treat her with respect, and treasure her; she should NEVER become the ONLY reason why you get out of bed in the morning.

In other words, your life must have a lot MORE going on besides your girlfriend.

You should be in some kind of physical fitness routine, engaging in hobbies with friends, and working on your own personal development such as making more money and improving your overall knowledge of life and success.

If you spent all your time focusing on your ex-girlfriend, this might very well be the reason that pushed her away.

Women want and desire a man who’s busy and has a life outside of his relationship with her.

She wants to be an important part of your life, but not the ONLY thing in your life.

Read those last two sentences again and memorize them.

If you became obsessed with her, chances are you ”suffocated” her with attention.

This is a deadly mistake in any relationship.

Period.

In Closing

Yes, you’re feeling down right now.

Yes, the situation feels hopeless.

Yes, you want to call her.

Yes, you want to spy on her social media.

DON’T!

Things will get better in time, I 100% guarantee it.

Be patient, hit the gym, get out with your friends, and focus on improving every aspect of your life.

Eventually you’ll be grateful that you’re relationship ended because you’ll meet a woman who makes you way happier than your ex-girlfriend ever did.

It always turns out that way…

….You’ll see.

Talk soon,

– Alexander Writer