The Danger of Being a Nice Guy

Ever since we were kids, we were taught to be nice to woman.

Is there something wrong with that?

No, of course not.

You should be nice to woman and respect them.

However, there is a huge difference between being nice when she actually DESERVES it, and being nice just to get something from her in return.

Let me explain my friend…

Women are smart, a lot smarter than you think.

They know when you’re being nice just to earn their love and attention.

This makes you appear weak, manipulative, and insecure.

A man who buys things, pays for expensive dinners, and compliments her ALL the time is a nice guy.

He’s does this to appear generous, kind, and thoughtful.

So what’s the danger of being a nice guy?

If you like her, why shouldn’t you be nice to her?

Well when you first meet a woman and barely know anything about her, doing all these nice things makes her wonder what type of guy you are.

She wonders what your true motives are.

You can’t possibly like her yet, you don’t know her!

Sure, she might appear nice, sweet, and pretty.

You still don’t know her as a person and she knows this!

Why would you spend a lot of money and be extra nice if she doesn’t deserve it yet?

You’re spoiling her like you’ve known her forever.

Is it that you feel she won’t like the REAL you, so you try to buy her love and attention?

Women see right through this and its bad, my friend.

Being overly nice to a woman you just met will make her run to someone who doesn’t appear manipulative and acts in a more sincere way.

This will only lead you to be in the famous “friend zone.”

Women want a guy who moves slowly and actually makes effort to get to know her.

Doing all these nice things doesn’t allow a woman to feel attracted to you.

It constantly puts pressure on her.

She begins to say things to herself like:

 “Wow, he’s spending a lot of money on me and I feel bad. I like hanging out with him, at least I think I do. I am not into him as a boyfriend though, I just don’t see him that way. I’ma tell him that I want to be friends just to play it safe and not hurt his feelings.”

When you’re overly nice, she sees it as a manipulative move to possibly get her into bed or to make up for any weaknesses you may have as a man.

You need to be relaxed and move slow at the beginning.

I am not saying that you shouldn’t spend any money at all, just don’t overdo it.

Again, she must earn you being nice to her.

What if she’s the type of women who uses guys for their money?

She’ll allow you to continue to spoil her and then eventually replace you with someone else when you try to take the relationship to the “next level.”

Not all women are like this of course, don’t get scared.

However, they do exist and not being such a nice guy at the beginning allows you to figure out just who she is and what she’s like.

Your goal is to get to know her as a person then slowly introduce the nice gifts, fancy dinners, etc.

She doesn’t want to feel like you are paying for her time in order to get to know her.

When first meeting her, you should do things that don’t require you to spend too much money.

I wrote an article explaining the difference between boring expensive dates and cheap interesting dates.

Be honest with me…

Why would you spend a lot of money and be extra nice to a woman you barely know?

What if she’s cheated on all her ex-boyfriends?

What if she is just dating and doesn’t even want a serious relationship?

What if she’s into weird things that you don’t want to be part of?

Do you agree with her views in life and what she wants in the future?

Remember, there are A LOT of woman out there.

You should never fear losing a woman.

If she’s not what you really want, you can easily meet someone who is.

You may have a scarcity mindset and may not realize just how many women are out there.

Right now, woman who you may find ideal to date are waiting to meet a guy just like you.

Don’t just settle for whatever comes along, you might miss someone worth who’s actually worth it.

If she expects you to spend a lot of money at the beginning without proving herself to you first, then you need to ask yourself if she’s really the type of woman you want to date.

-Alex

PS – Did this article help you? You’ll love my book Dating Mastery. Click here for more information.