Why Am I Jealous Of My Girlfriends Past
Hey man, you had the conversation, didn’t you?
You just had to ask…
The curiosity was too much and you needed to know, right?
WRONG.
Whatever your girlfriend did before you has nothing to do with you.
It happened, it’s in the past, and there’s nothing you can do to change it.
Like I explain inside my book Dating Mastery, women are not logical like men, they’re emotional.
They date and have sex with guys for different reasons.
Some reasons are perfectly healthy, and some aren’t.
However, your job is to focus on her present and not judge her on the past.
…but it’s a little too late for that now.
You already asked, you know, and it’s bothering you.
Everyone Goes Through It
Don’t be too hard on yourself, as men, we all want to know.
We all sit down and ask ourselves, “Why am I worried about my girlfriends past“.
It’s a curiosity that we have to satisfy.
Some men admit that it bothers them, and some don’t.
Some have realized that there’s nothing they can do to about it.
Look man, I get it…
You like her and want to be the best, biggest, and most enjoyable she’s ever had.
You want to make her laugh more than any one ever has.
You want her to think about you all day and miss you more than she has any one else.
I’ve been there, we all have.
The last thing you want to think is that your girlfriend constantly fantasizes about her ex.
Why You Shouldn’t Worry
The most important thing to remember is that she’s with you now.
Whether her ex was amazing in bed, funny as hell, smart, rich, had superman powers…
SHE’S WITH YOU NOW.
If she was still madly in love with her ex, she would be at home miserable in bed or out with her friends crying over drinks.
Sure, she might think about her ex from time to time.
Umm…don’t you?
It doesn’t mean that she misses him, it’s just her thinking about life.
What, you thought women didn’t think every now and then?
News flash my friend, a women’s mind is NEVER at rest.
Women are constantly worrying, thinking, and contemplating about life.
Every women is going to think about her ex’s from time to time, just how she’s going to think about her friends, family, and YOU.
What To Worry About Instead
Your job is to give her experiences she’s never had before.
Ask her: “Is there anything you’ve always wanted to do that you haven’t?“
Then wait a couple of weeks when she doesn’t expect it, and surprise her.
This experience will be something that none of her ex’s gave her.
If you’re worried about her past sexual experiences and wonder if you’re as “good” or “better” than her ex’s, stop worrying.
Your job is to learn everything there is to know about pleasuring a women.
Make effort by reading books, articles, and asking female friends what they like and hate most during sex.
Talk to your guy friends and share ideas, they might know a thing or two that you don’t.
The most important thing is not to worry about her ex’s, but to worry about making yourself the best possible.
If you put effort, you’ll eventually hear the words “You’re the best I ever had”.
If you’re worried about your size down there (like most men) and wonder if her ex’s were bigger, stop worrying.
I’ve heard MANY stories of women having a more enjoyable sex experience with a man who wasn’t as “big” as past lovers.
Doesn’t make sense, right?
Of course not, all the porn you’re exposed to has conditioned you to think differently.
Imagine if you had sex with a women and she admitted that her ex was smaller than you, but gave her more pleasure.
You’ll probably have the facial expression of a five year old caught stealing – confused, nervous, helpless and wondering what the hell this is going to lead too.
Most jealousy is a result of insecurity
“Did he make her happier and please her more than I do?”
Relax.
Even if her ex did satisfy and make her happy, does that mean you can’t?
Of course not.
I know it’s difficult but look at this way, think about your ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend.
Her new boyfriend has to deal with the fact that YOU were with her before him.
Get it?
It’s something that we all deal with, and women deal with it too.
I’m sure your girlfriend wonders about your ex-girlfriends and if you miss anything about them.
My best tips for you are:
1) Always take good care of yourself (physically, mentally and emotionally).
2) Learn all there is to know about sex and pleasuring a women
3) Keep the relationship interesting by constantly doing new things
4) NEVER ask her about her past or if her ex’s satisfied her more than you. This just makes you look insecure and women don’t find it attractive.
One final thing…
If her past is still bothering you to the point that you’re considering breaking up with her, don’t.
All that’s going to lead to is her meeting someone new and forgetting all about you.
Think you feel bad now?
Imagine how bad you’ll feel knowing that you HAD her and let her go, resulting in her being with someone else.
…and she WILL meet someone else, I promise.
My girlfriend has a past.
My best friend’s girlfriend has a past.
Your friend’s brother’s best friend’s neighbor’s girlfriend has a past.
So the next time you find yourself wondering “Why am I jealous of my girlfriends past“, remember this…
She’s with you now man, that’s all that matters.
– Alex
P.S. – My new book “Dating Mastery” will teach you dating & relationship secrets to get an ex back, attract your dream lover or to improve a failing relationship. Click here for more information.
Robert says
“The last thing you want to think is that your girlfriend constantly fantasizes about her ex.”
“SHE’S WITH YOU NOW.”
This is putting your head in the sand, pure and simple. Is she really with you if she’s d fantasizing about fucking her ex? I’d love to know if my girlfriend fantasized about other men, simply so I could kick her to the curb that much faster.
“However, your job is to focus on her present and not judge her on the past.”
If a girl has a sordid sexual past full of casual encounters, are you really banking on her changing and changing from a whore to a housewife? Based upon what? Wishful thinking?
IMHO this is the worst blue pill advice you could give men. There is an abundance of women in the world. This post reeks of a scarcity mindset.
Alex (Administrator) says
Robert,
Thanks for sharing your views and opinions on the article.
I understand where you’re coming from. No one wants to “waste” their time with someone who may ultimately leave them because they miss their ex. However, I personally don’t feel it’s optimal to begin dating someone with these worries in mind. I believe these are all questions and concerns one should address before making the transition from dating to relationship. For this reason, I often tell men to take their time in getting to know the woman before making it “official”.
I agree with you that there is an abundance of women in the world. For this reason, men should not settle.They should seek a women that makes them feel happy and fulfilled all around, not just a woman who is sexually attractive. Thanks a lot for your honest feedback and opinions.
I hope your comment and my response address any questions, opinions, or concerns other readers may have.
-Alex
Robert says
Taking your time when dating is great advice.
They should also be screening and looking for red flags. There should be a tiered screening process for casual sex vs dating vs girlfriend vs marriage. It should be shaped like a pyramid. A girl who fantasizes about her ex should NEVER get past casual sex or dating for any man with an ounce of self respect.
Sorry to be so critical of you, I know this is your blog and your advice, I just hate seeing men get advice that can very easily blow up in their face.
Philip Braselmann says
This is great advice for people that are constantly jealous.
I add another tip: Have something going on in your life, a purpose, then it does not really matter if she leaves or what her past is.
Like that you get rid of the root cause 🙂