Dealing with verbal attacks is tough.
Regardless of who you are, it’s difficult unless you have thick skin.
How people treat and think about you matters to you.
Deny it all you want, but given the two options, you’d choose being liked and treated right over being disliked and treated like an asshole.
With that said, it’s time you accept something:
No matter who you are, how many great things you do, or how much you help others; there will ALWAYS be people who verbally attack you.
Thick skin means eliminating all the “buttons” that, when pushed, make you lose your composure.
It’s not easy and doesn’t happen overnight, but with persistence, it’s 100% doable.
Below are the top 5 ways to develop thick skin.
Make sure you read them all you lazy little bitch.
Opps, did that bother you?
1) Mental growth
You must continuously learn new things by reading daily.
Don’t just read subjects that interest you, this a BIG mistake that stunts mental growth.
Instead, aim to learn a bit about everything so your learning capabilities begin to feel limitless.
When you feel limitless, you become eager to learn as much as possible.
This shoots your confidence through the roof because soon you’ll be able to have a conversation regarding almost anything.
Smart people are verbally powerful.
They have a calm, witty response to verbal attacks and always maintain their composure.
They know who they are, what they want and what to do to get it.
Does that sound like someone with thick skin?
If you’re serious about developing thick skin, start by reading as much as possible.
Knowledge is power.
The internet is FLOODED with free information, take advantage of it!
2) Physical self-improvement
How you look and feel is EXTREMELY important.
It’s unlikely to find someone with thick skin who dislikes how they look and feel.
If you’re overweight, begin fixing it immediately.
I’m not telling you what to do, I’m telling you what’s best for you.
Being overweight destroys your self-esteem.
Self-esteem is vital for thick skin.
There isn’t one person in the world who’s overweight that wouldn’t feel 100x better if they slimmed down.
When I created the Demon Diet and lost a DRASTIC amount of weight, I felt like a brand new person!
You can see it in my before and after pictures just how much better I felt.
Whether it’s 10 lbs. or 100 lbs., if losing weight will help you look and feel better, start immediately.
Not next week, next month, or next year…NOW!
Most people who don’t make the decision to get this part of their life handled sooner than later, are unlikely to do it in the future.
Don’t be “most people”.
When you like how you look and feel, you carry yourself differently, feel more in control and are all-around happier.
You don’t need to develop abs of steel or build muscles like you’re competing in a bodybuilding contest.
Instead, get down to a healthy weight so you can look and feel good.
3) Pending goals
You must always be working towards a goal.
It should be achievable, but challenging.
Goals light a fire inside you that fills you with eagerness and determination.
But most importantly, it provides the #1 thing everyone alive needs and desires…
Having a purpose is the difference between hating getting out of bed in the morning and waking up before your alarm goes off because you’re so FIRED UP about your goal.
A couple years ago, I wanted to grow this blog to where it generated $100 per day.
This is a measurable goal, especially with how BIG the internet has become.
I thought about it daily and worked very hard until I made it a reality.
Little by little, I got closer and closer to $100.
The closer I’d get, the stronger my desire became.
Today, $100 per day is a JOKE to me.
But let me tell you something, that feeling of desperation to achieve my goal was INCREDIBLE!
It took over me and made me feel empty until I achieved it.
What a rush!
Someone very successful once told me:
“The fun is in the getting, not the having“.
In other words, the most enjoyable part of your goal is the process you go through to achieve it.
Don’t worry if that doesn’t make sense now, it will later.
This excitement you get from the process helps you develop thick skin.
Because whatever anyone says or thinks about you will be meaningless.
Your emotions are held hostage by your goal and no one can affect your emotional state.
4) Analyze the verbal attacker
Anyone who verbally attacks you does it to make you feel low so they can feel superior.
Because they secretly feel low about themselves.
Their desire to talk down to others comes from inner issues they need to address.
Verbal attackers are frustrated with the world, lack thick skin and only feel good when they belittle others.
So, what do you do?
I’m glad you asked.
You do what I call “Introduce lovely to ugly”.
5) When lovely meets ugly
When someone verbally attacks you, react in a loving way.
Let me explain.
You see, the verbal attacker is only looking for one thing, a reaction from you.
They either want to see you get mad and aggressive or sad and submissive.
The way to respond in a loving way is smiling and in a calm, even voice saying “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m not here for that”, and walk away.
It’s that easy.
When you react in a loving way, their attack loses its power.
This makes your skin grow thicker and thicker because you’ll go building the habit of maintaining your composure.
Remember, if you retaliate by losing your cool, getting dramatic, or getting physical (dumb idea); you instantly give the attacker power.
Instead, practice keeping your composure until it becomes automatic.
Everything we do, say and think is habit.
Build strong habits and they’ll follow you the rest of your life.
What’s the moral of the story?
Developing thick skin is all about how you feel and habitually react to verbal attacks.
Make steps 1-5 part of your personality and you’ll literally become a new person.
People will notice and comment that there’s something different about you.
You’ll walk cool, calm and collected, and smile when someone tries to verbally attack you.
You’ll be in a new place in life where only YOU can shift your emotional state.
Everything and anyone else will just be, well…
Not part of you.